A Glorious Rejection From the Malevolent Huffing Matron

I wish I could start this entry with "Yay!! I got a job and don't have to worry about those little things like having enough money to live and gaining a proper visa so I'm not deported from this country!". Sadly, I regret to inform everyone that I did not get the job.

After I was supposed to hear the decision yesterday, I waited anxiously by my phone every hour of the day and night. When noonish rolled around today I wasn't willing to sit and wait any longer. My patience had worn down to just a thin wafer substance by mid Monday so I'm surprised I lasted that long. The woman who is the chair of the department (who I am thoroughly convinced is huffing some sort of aerosol product, indicated by her tortoise pace of speech and droopy gaze) finally picked up the phone and said "I'm sorry to say that we went with the woman who interviewed yesterday, as she scored higher than you did". She claimed she "left me a message" which is a damn lie. She also said that it wasn't that they weren't impressed with me...they were...but it came down to just a few points difference. That's all fine and dandy... the roll that job was demanding from me was a bit above and beyond my experience anyhow...so if she had just said "the woman had more supervisory experience than you" I would have been totally cool with that. But she didn't say that. She said that "You haven't really done enough crisis work, so we went with the other person." WHAT?? Are you out of your mind you crazy, huffing, tool??? I'm pretty sure every ounce of experience and expertise I have to offer is in the form of acute crisis intervention! UGH!!! And lets not talk about how I waited SIX weeks after spending over $1500 to fly to an interview that couldn't wait and then you don't have the decency to call me or contact me at all during that time! Some of the bureaucracies in this country literally make me feel unhinged. I was treated unjustly through this whole process, with or without job in hand.

All that being said...I'm Ok with this. Weird I know. From my aforementioned rant, one would think that I am foaming at the mouth and doubled over with devastation. But in all honesty, I kinda didn't want this job. I mean, sure I wanted A job just to feel secure with money and my status in this country...but after thinking on this and praying with everything I've got, something started to not feel right about it. Everything from day one was so shady with this place. I was never treated the way that I deserve to be treated. I believe that I have very VERY good intuition and I trust it implicitly. When I went for the interview, I did not get the best vibe from the place and even back then, though I was blinded by the lure of the big pay check, I knew that something didn't feel right about it. I didn't have that feeling of pure joy and instant reassurance that this was exactly where I was meant to be at that exact moment like I did at Polaris or at UConn. On Monday, when I hadn't heard from them, it was about 1pm and I said to Shari... "I know I didn't get this job". And strangely enough, I started wishing for that very outcome. Crazy, I know! But I believe wholeheartedly that I am meant for something different and I'm pretty excited to find out what that is now.

A good thing that happened today: Right after my glorious rejection, I received a phone call from Viv, who is one of the people who interviewed me for my cherished refugee job. She received all of my paperwork, and I should be able to begin volunteering with her in the next week. I told her that until I start working she can have me full time if she wants. Mind you this is a pretty sweet set up as they are offering to pay for my transportation and are offering me free supervision as well, not to mention endless networking prospects. If that job would have been full time, that literally would have been the dream job. Refugees are a new peaked interest of mine lately, so this experience will be invaluable. She also suggested that I volunteer half the time with her and half the time with her boss at a community mental health agency. So, that is definitely something to look forward to and something that will most likely greatly impress any future employer (hopefully near future employer).

So to all my cheerleaders out there...fear not. My hopes are still high, my heart is still full, and my chin is still up. I wasn't meant for that job. Period. I trust that concept and can't wait to find out what the next chapter in this saga will be!