A bit glad, a bit sad.

Ok, so I am totally fed up with this no job business. I feel like a complete waste of space. I'm sorry to say that my painstaking measures of remaining optimistic are dwindling. Small bits of positivity are burning up and flying away in fragments of ashes. I NEED to work... or start volunteering very soon before I completely lose my mind.

For the most part I have tried to make the most of an excessive amount of time with a very minuscule amount of money. In the past couple of days I saw all of the touristy things that London has to offer...you know, Big Ben, Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Trafalgar Square, The National Gallery, a couple of markets. All quite impressive I might add. The architecture of these buildings is awe inspiring. It is crazy to be standing in front of a building that is hundreds of years old and know that you walked in the same steps as historical figures. I guess I'm just a dork like that though, ha ha.

I had a few times in this past week where I had a small ache in my heart for the people I miss so very much already. One of those times was when my best friend sent me pictures of her wedding dress...I'd lie if I said I didn't cry AGAIN. It was an absolution for me that this planning that we've talked about since we were little girls was going to go on even while I'm in London...without me. I can't help but feel as though I broke an unspoken promise or oath between the two of us, and for that I am apologetic.

Sometimes the scale of what I've done, packing up and moving to a different country, really hits me, like when I think about who I left. I know that someday, hopefully soon, the goodness of this decision will start to bear fruit and the doors that have opened will be innumerable. Hopefully.

In the meantime, on with the job search and hopefully starting to volunteer this week :) In closing let me quote the great Robert Frost who has been on my mind lately... "Two roads diverged in a wood and I...I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference".