In a feeble attempt to give myself a cathartic experience through writing, I am going to retell the tale of "The Rat" in full detail. It may be traumatic to bring my mind back to these events, but for the purposes of entertainment for my readers...I will sacrifice my sanity to bring smiles and laughter to those I love.
Since I started working, I feel blessed that I am able to walk to work everyday. It's great exercise, fresh air, and it helps to reduce my carbon foot print...which to be honest, has been like a gargantuan troll stomping through the forest. It is a great part of my day. Usually.
Today, my experience of walking to work was tainted irrevocably. All of my pleasant strolls along the bank of the Thames are now stained with distasteful memories and painful reminders. I am changed after a simple walk to work, went horrifically wrong.
Nearing the end of my walk, getting close to the building my team is based in (Mulberry Place)there is a huge intersection in which roads, tunnels, and bridges all cross each other. There is a path for pedestrians that goes underneath this intersection and comes out at the foot of the Blackwall DLR train station.
There I was, ipod in my ears, jamming out to some Michael Jackson, unknowingly approaching the underpass that was about to change my life. As I rounded a slight corner and began walking under a foot path, suddenly, out of no where, something fell on my shoulder...slid off...and hit the ground with a thud. My brain, for some reason, immediately deduced that the most logical explanation was that a bird had flown into the side of the bridge and killed itself and then fell on me.
So I looked down with trepidation, expecting to see a mutilated bird, but instead I saw IT. The biggest RAT in the ENTIRE WORLD.
A RAT HAD JUST FALLEN FROM THE SKY ONTO MY SHOULDER. ONTO...MY...SHOULDER!!!! This Rat would hold the Guinness book of world records for the biggest rat of of all time. It was the size of a small dog... and bigger than most Chihuahuas. I don't know if you fully understand the gravity of the situation.
A MASSIVE RAT FELL ONTO MY SHOULDER!!! A RAT!!! A DISEASE INFESTED VERMIN!!
I hadn't realized that a woman had been walking towards me and was just a few feet in front of me, and had watched the horror unfold. We both had froze for a few seconds, letting our brains compute the fact that a ginormous RAT had just fallen from the bridge right above our heads. Once we realized what it was we both let out blood curdling screams and threw our backs against the wall as though this rat was surely about to bring us to our demise. The rat, terrified, or possibly amused if you ask me, began running around in circles at our feet, only prompting us to scream louder!
Finally, when it ran off, the woman and I just stood staring at each other, mouths agape and panting with relief. I'm sure she was quite relieved that the rat had fallen on me instead of her. How do you recover from something like that?? When your morning starts off with a Mutant RAT falling ONTO your shoulder, that's pretty much a wrap on the rest of your day. It's going to be really hard to have a happy day after something of that magnitude.
I am traumatized. I'm quite sure that I will need to seek professional help because of this incident. I am scarred. It is inevitable that I will have nightmares about the sky's opening up and raining rats down onto me.
I just wanted to share this, because if you were having a bad day... well...now you know it could have been worse.
A rat could have fallen on you.
Friday 30 April 2010
Wednesday 21 April 2010
It's Always Sunny in London
Yeah right! But it has been sunny in the last week anyway! It's so rare to find mass quantities of sunshine anywhere in England, but the last week has been absolutely gorgeous. The forecast for the next 10 days is sparkling sunny skies and temperatures that keep creeping up as the weekend approaches to a wapping 21 degrees celcius (70 farenheit for those of you who, like me, are metric-challenged). I can't speak for the rest of England, but I can tell you London comes alive on a whole new scale when there is an abundance of sunshine...the whole city smiles. Everyone, and I mean everyone...is happy. It's wonderful.
Hence my absence from the blog. Sitting outside along the river surrounded by smiling, happy faces has been much more appealing than sitting on my couch clicking away on my netbook. But tonight I have succumbed to the power of the sun setting over the river and the fact that there is no better place to admire it then my very own living room, given the view from my bodacious pad.
There is something I have wanted to address in recent days which is the current political climate here (quite intriuging).
Most of you in the US probably aren't aware that the elections for Prime Minister are likely to occur in less than 2 weeks here. I say "likely" because unlike us they do not have a set date that elections happen on. They are considering May 6th to be the day, but that has yet to be finalized.
After experiencing the fervor and intensity of the last US Presidential election, I am completely dumbfounded by the complete opposite citizen reaction here. As you may well remember, in The States we were inundated and overloaded at every turn with campaign advertisements, debates, and interviews. We couldn't walk down the street with out having every sense bombarded with something related to the election. In my experience, I was so passionate about the election, that it consumed me, quite literally for almost a full year on a daily basis.
That is why I don't even have words to describe what it is like here, 2 weeks before the leader of one of the most powerful countries in the world is about to be elected. There is no passion, no emotion, no conversation, very little media, nothing. It is absolutely bizzare. I have yet to hear any person voice either their approval or opposition of the three potential candidates (Gordon Brown: Labour Party and current prime minister; David Cameron: Tory Party; Nick Clegg: Liberal Democrat Party). There is only ONE thing I have heard from at least 15 people. It is almost always with regard to the funding of something or budget concerns.
"We will just have to wait and see what happens after the election".
Thats it. I swear on my life that, word for word, that is the only utterance I have heard regarding the election of the leader of Great Britain. Afterwards, there is never any semblance of a "side" the particular person is on, or who they hope does or does not get elected. Just this flat, neutral statement.
I think part of it may have to do with the difference in the issues which are relevant between the US and the UK. For us, I think there are very concrete ideals and perspectives that make you either a Democrat or a Republican. Many of things that we can be so passionate about changing (or keeping the same) in the US, aren't even really considered problematic here. For example the never-ending abortion debate - a colleague informed me that all three candidates here would be pro-choice, if it was even an issue. Or Gay Marriage...again, not an issue, all three would be a proponent of such.
Another interesting part of the political system here, which I just learned about is their actual election process. On the day of the election, when the masses come out to vote, people are not actually voting for one of the three prime minister candidates. Instead, they vote for their local MP (Member of Parliment) and whichever party has the most Members of Parliment elected is the candidate that wins. I had NO idea that this was the process. Every election process has its flaws I suppose, but man, this process seems REALLY flawed. What if, for example, you hate the MP running in your local area, but you very much want the candidate of that political party to be Prime Minister? It's a terrible position to be in!
From what I'm told, if I could vote here, I would almost certainly belong to the Lib Dems. Just the name makes me believe this is true! They are the underdog for this election apparently, which is unfortunate. After watching the first debate which was just last week, I was pickin up what Nick Clegg was laying down!
So in closing, I suppose the appropriate thing to say is "We will just have to wait and see what happens after the election"! :)
Hence my absence from the blog. Sitting outside along the river surrounded by smiling, happy faces has been much more appealing than sitting on my couch clicking away on my netbook. But tonight I have succumbed to the power of the sun setting over the river and the fact that there is no better place to admire it then my very own living room, given the view from my bodacious pad.
There is something I have wanted to address in recent days which is the current political climate here (quite intriuging).
Most of you in the US probably aren't aware that the elections for Prime Minister are likely to occur in less than 2 weeks here. I say "likely" because unlike us they do not have a set date that elections happen on. They are considering May 6th to be the day, but that has yet to be finalized.
After experiencing the fervor and intensity of the last US Presidential election, I am completely dumbfounded by the complete opposite citizen reaction here. As you may well remember, in The States we were inundated and overloaded at every turn with campaign advertisements, debates, and interviews. We couldn't walk down the street with out having every sense bombarded with something related to the election. In my experience, I was so passionate about the election, that it consumed me, quite literally for almost a full year on a daily basis.
That is why I don't even have words to describe what it is like here, 2 weeks before the leader of one of the most powerful countries in the world is about to be elected. There is no passion, no emotion, no conversation, very little media, nothing. It is absolutely bizzare. I have yet to hear any person voice either their approval or opposition of the three potential candidates (Gordon Brown: Labour Party and current prime minister; David Cameron: Tory Party; Nick Clegg: Liberal Democrat Party). There is only ONE thing I have heard from at least 15 people. It is almost always with regard to the funding of something or budget concerns.
"We will just have to wait and see what happens after the election".
Thats it. I swear on my life that, word for word, that is the only utterance I have heard regarding the election of the leader of Great Britain. Afterwards, there is never any semblance of a "side" the particular person is on, or who they hope does or does not get elected. Just this flat, neutral statement.
I think part of it may have to do with the difference in the issues which are relevant between the US and the UK. For us, I think there are very concrete ideals and perspectives that make you either a Democrat or a Republican. Many of things that we can be so passionate about changing (or keeping the same) in the US, aren't even really considered problematic here. For example the never-ending abortion debate - a colleague informed me that all three candidates here would be pro-choice, if it was even an issue. Or Gay Marriage...again, not an issue, all three would be a proponent of such.
Another interesting part of the political system here, which I just learned about is their actual election process. On the day of the election, when the masses come out to vote, people are not actually voting for one of the three prime minister candidates. Instead, they vote for their local MP (Member of Parliment) and whichever party has the most Members of Parliment elected is the candidate that wins. I had NO idea that this was the process. Every election process has its flaws I suppose, but man, this process seems REALLY flawed. What if, for example, you hate the MP running in your local area, but you very much want the candidate of that political party to be Prime Minister? It's a terrible position to be in!
From what I'm told, if I could vote here, I would almost certainly belong to the Lib Dems. Just the name makes me believe this is true! They are the underdog for this election apparently, which is unfortunate. After watching the first debate which was just last week, I was pickin up what Nick Clegg was laying down!
So in closing, I suppose the appropriate thing to say is "We will just have to wait and see what happens after the election"! :)
Monday 5 April 2010
I Have A Terrible Illness: The Travel Bug.
It's true...I've been bitten, stung, and jabbed by the Travel Bug. I can't get enough. As soon as I leave the house to go on one trip, I'm already thinking about where I am going to go next. For the purposes of this blog, I will at least try and stay focused on just one location at present though.
Germany was Wunderbar!! At first it was a little jarring because everything is in German (obviously) which is one language that I can recognize almost nothing. Most Germans that I encountered almost always spoke English as a second language. That is except for the 90 year old woman that cut in front of me when buying train tickets. I believe she heard us speaking English and for some reason deduced that we would be incapable of operating the ticket machine (despite there being a glaring symbol for English translation on the machine).
She began pointing at the machine and speaking loudly in German. So picture a short, old woman with stark white hair, deep set wrinkles and tired eyes behind thickly framed glasses, practically shouting something that sounded like the following: " sldfjowiek, lsdfiehghe...sdfk...iyhy weuszhe fheosie PXZHEHSKED!!". The look on my face surely must have been enough to say "Lady, I have no freaking clue what the hell you just said", but just to be sure I just shook my head and just said "English". It didn't register... here she goes again.... "oiassxwz werfsuz sedeausghg weaiudfbtg WHIAUSHEZ!" I just stared at her. She was too old to see reason. Thankfully there was a man next to her who obviously picked up the signs that we were not in any way German and said "She is telling you how to use the machine and how much it costs!" We laughed and finally the old lady walked away still signing off to us and wishing us well in her thick German tongue! Bless her heart!
We dropped our things off at the hostel and asked the girl at the front desk where a good place to start exploring Hamburg was. She pulled out a map and circled the area that she claimed had good things to see and do and we headed off in that direction.
Being that it was Good Friday, every single shop, store, and most pubs were closed. More importantly, the deranged and sadistic girl from the hostel, sent us to what I'm convinced is the absolute worst place in all of Germany. Maybe in the entire world. Actually, in all of God's creation there is nothing more terrible.
I remember getting off the train and walking around thinking "Oh my God, is this really where I have to spend three whole days"? Forget about the drunks, prostitutes, and drug dealers for a moment....but there was really nothing to see. The streets were unremarkable, the architecture of the area was forgettable and boring, and there was literally nothing that warranted the small effort of sifting through my purse for my camera. Every few meters there was a drunk person staggering all over the place, or men smoking in front of unmarked steel doors that looked as though they led to the cavernous depths of hell itself. We were followed by a man in a car for at least three blocks. He slowly drove next to us as we continued walking, hollering in German out the window, beckoning us towards the car. Feeling dejected, but neither one of was wanting to verbalize the unfortunate circumstance we were in, we decided to head to he nearest pub and discuss a plan of action over a beer.
After some schnitzel, sausage, and German beer, we saw a tour bus across the street. The idea was that by the grace of God we would perhaps see a part of the city that wasn't crime-ridden and didn't have imminent danger lurking around every corner. Luckily, that's exactly what happened. About 2 miles down the road from where we were, it was like the heavens opened up and angels were singing! There were amazing cobblestone streets, bridge covered canals, artistically groomed trees, and stands advertising delicious German beer everywhere. An oasis had opened up! I immediately began cursing that wench at the hostel for sending us to the only ugly part of the city!
It turned out to be a gorgeous day and even better it had been confirmed that my good friend Dan was going to be able to join us for the weekend and would be there by the end of the night. Dan was in France on business and happened to have a car for the duration of his stay so the crazy fool decided to drive 7 hours from France to Hamburg, Germany. I waited in the hostel bar for him for four hours, the whole time chatting with a Brit named Charles. After over-indulging on the delectable locally brewed beverage I couldn't wait any longer and decided to hit the hay. I fell asleep quickly.
I woke up to the sound of rustling and giggling. Apparently, Dan had come in the room and thought I was the other American guy, Derek, that we were sharing the room with! Derek has long blond hair, and the last time Dan saw me, I was a blond. So when he got in the room he saw the mass of blond splayed over the pillow, got right down in his face, and began shaking him saying "Julie! Julie! Wake up!". Derek, having been in a dead sleep, woke up to this big man shaking him and yelling my name into his face. Shari woke before I did and said "Uh, Dan... that's not Julie!". He stepped back, a little confused and a little embarrassed... "Oh, sorry man"! Luckily Derek was quite a laid back dude and rolled over and shrugged it off easily.
We explored Hamburg on Saturday, did some shopping, ate great food, drank exceptional wine and tapped into the endless variety of German beers. Dan and I went to the Red Light District, called Reeperban at around 1am. The debauchery knew no bounds... drunk people staggering everywhere and a cataclysm of yelling, laughter, and coughing from all the various forms of smoke. The main strip had glass windows with displays of scantily clad women in sheer lingerie with fuzzy red handcuffs. Every side street was lined with bars and clubs. Music poured out into the streets through their open doors. There were hookers on each corner, baring cleavage and everything else. We knew they were prostitutes because they all had fanny packs on, which I am assuming is where they kept their money. I remember as we were walking by a group of them I heard a young American lad say "dude! it's only 30 bucks for a blow job!". I bet he ended up with quite a few stories that night!
As we were making our way back to the hostel, we realised the sun was coming up. It was 6:30 and I was beat. Sunday definitely called for a late check-out. Because Dan had a car, we decided to take a day trip to the nearby city of Bremin. It was my first time on the Autobahn and it wasn't incredibly exciting. But we did get to drive quite fast!
All in all, another good trip. And even better...I got my first paycheck last week and I'm on annual leave until Thursday! Might be doing a little more traveling this week!
I miss all of my US peeps and fam!
Germany was Wunderbar!! At first it was a little jarring because everything is in German (obviously) which is one language that I can recognize almost nothing. Most Germans that I encountered almost always spoke English as a second language. That is except for the 90 year old woman that cut in front of me when buying train tickets. I believe she heard us speaking English and for some reason deduced that we would be incapable of operating the ticket machine (despite there being a glaring symbol for English translation on the machine).
She began pointing at the machine and speaking loudly in German. So picture a short, old woman with stark white hair, deep set wrinkles and tired eyes behind thickly framed glasses, practically shouting something that sounded like the following: " sldfjowiek, lsdfiehghe...sdfk...iyhy weuszhe fheosie PXZHEHSKED!!". The look on my face surely must have been enough to say "Lady, I have no freaking clue what the hell you just said", but just to be sure I just shook my head and just said "English". It didn't register... here she goes again.... "oiassxwz werfsuz sedeausghg weaiudfbtg WHIAUSHEZ!" I just stared at her. She was too old to see reason. Thankfully there was a man next to her who obviously picked up the signs that we were not in any way German and said "She is telling you how to use the machine and how much it costs!" We laughed and finally the old lady walked away still signing off to us and wishing us well in her thick German tongue! Bless her heart!
We dropped our things off at the hostel and asked the girl at the front desk where a good place to start exploring Hamburg was. She pulled out a map and circled the area that she claimed had good things to see and do and we headed off in that direction.
Being that it was Good Friday, every single shop, store, and most pubs were closed. More importantly, the deranged and sadistic girl from the hostel, sent us to what I'm convinced is the absolute worst place in all of Germany. Maybe in the entire world. Actually, in all of God's creation there is nothing more terrible.
I remember getting off the train and walking around thinking "Oh my God, is this really where I have to spend three whole days"? Forget about the drunks, prostitutes, and drug dealers for a moment....but there was really nothing to see. The streets were unremarkable, the architecture of the area was forgettable and boring, and there was literally nothing that warranted the small effort of sifting through my purse for my camera. Every few meters there was a drunk person staggering all over the place, or men smoking in front of unmarked steel doors that looked as though they led to the cavernous depths of hell itself. We were followed by a man in a car for at least three blocks. He slowly drove next to us as we continued walking, hollering in German out the window, beckoning us towards the car. Feeling dejected, but neither one of was wanting to verbalize the unfortunate circumstance we were in, we decided to head to he nearest pub and discuss a plan of action over a beer.
After some schnitzel, sausage, and German beer, we saw a tour bus across the street. The idea was that by the grace of God we would perhaps see a part of the city that wasn't crime-ridden and didn't have imminent danger lurking around every corner. Luckily, that's exactly what happened. About 2 miles down the road from where we were, it was like the heavens opened up and angels were singing! There were amazing cobblestone streets, bridge covered canals, artistically groomed trees, and stands advertising delicious German beer everywhere. An oasis had opened up! I immediately began cursing that wench at the hostel for sending us to the only ugly part of the city!
It turned out to be a gorgeous day and even better it had been confirmed that my good friend Dan was going to be able to join us for the weekend and would be there by the end of the night. Dan was in France on business and happened to have a car for the duration of his stay so the crazy fool decided to drive 7 hours from France to Hamburg, Germany. I waited in the hostel bar for him for four hours, the whole time chatting with a Brit named Charles. After over-indulging on the delectable locally brewed beverage I couldn't wait any longer and decided to hit the hay. I fell asleep quickly.
I woke up to the sound of rustling and giggling. Apparently, Dan had come in the room and thought I was the other American guy, Derek, that we were sharing the room with! Derek has long blond hair, and the last time Dan saw me, I was a blond. So when he got in the room he saw the mass of blond splayed over the pillow, got right down in his face, and began shaking him saying "Julie! Julie! Wake up!". Derek, having been in a dead sleep, woke up to this big man shaking him and yelling my name into his face. Shari woke before I did and said "Uh, Dan... that's not Julie!". He stepped back, a little confused and a little embarrassed... "Oh, sorry man"! Luckily Derek was quite a laid back dude and rolled over and shrugged it off easily.
We explored Hamburg on Saturday, did some shopping, ate great food, drank exceptional wine and tapped into the endless variety of German beers. Dan and I went to the Red Light District, called Reeperban at around 1am. The debauchery knew no bounds... drunk people staggering everywhere and a cataclysm of yelling, laughter, and coughing from all the various forms of smoke. The main strip had glass windows with displays of scantily clad women in sheer lingerie with fuzzy red handcuffs. Every side street was lined with bars and clubs. Music poured out into the streets through their open doors. There were hookers on each corner, baring cleavage and everything else. We knew they were prostitutes because they all had fanny packs on, which I am assuming is where they kept their money. I remember as we were walking by a group of them I heard a young American lad say "dude! it's only 30 bucks for a blow job!". I bet he ended up with quite a few stories that night!
As we were making our way back to the hostel, we realised the sun was coming up. It was 6:30 and I was beat. Sunday definitely called for a late check-out. Because Dan had a car, we decided to take a day trip to the nearby city of Bremin. It was my first time on the Autobahn and it wasn't incredibly exciting. But we did get to drive quite fast!
All in all, another good trip. And even better...I got my first paycheck last week and I'm on annual leave until Thursday! Might be doing a little more traveling this week!
I miss all of my US peeps and fam!
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