I Have A Terrible Illness: The Travel Bug.

It's true...I've been bitten, stung, and jabbed by the Travel Bug. I can't get enough. As soon as I leave the house to go on one trip, I'm already thinking about where I am going to go next. For the purposes of this blog, I will at least try and stay focused on just one location at present though.

Germany was Wunderbar!! At first it was a little jarring because everything is in German (obviously) which is one language that I can recognize almost nothing. Most Germans that I encountered almost always spoke English as a second language. That is except for the 90 year old woman that cut in front of me when buying train tickets. I believe she heard us speaking English and for some reason deduced that we would be incapable of operating the ticket machine (despite there being a glaring symbol for English translation on the machine).

She began pointing at the machine and speaking loudly in German. So picture a short, old woman with stark white hair, deep set wrinkles and tired eyes behind thickly framed glasses, practically shouting something that sounded like the following: " sldfjowiek, lsdfiehghe...sdfk...iyhy weuszhe fheosie PXZHEHSKED!!". The look on my face surely must have been enough to say "Lady, I have no freaking clue what the hell you just said", but just to be sure I just shook my head and just said "English". It didn't register... here she goes again.... "oiassxwz werfsuz sedeausghg weaiudfbtg WHIAUSHEZ!" I just stared at her. She was too old to see reason. Thankfully there was a man next to her who obviously picked up the signs that we were not in any way German and said "She is telling you how to use the machine and how much it costs!" We laughed and finally the old lady walked away still signing off to us and wishing us well in her thick German tongue! Bless her heart!

We dropped our things off at the hostel and asked the girl at the front desk where a good place to start exploring Hamburg was. She pulled out a map and circled the area that she claimed had good things to see and do and we headed off in that direction.

Being that it was Good Friday, every single shop, store, and most pubs were closed. More importantly, the deranged and sadistic girl from the hostel, sent us to what I'm convinced is the absolute worst place in all of Germany. Maybe in the entire world. Actually, in all of God's creation there is nothing more terrible.

I remember getting off the train and walking around thinking "Oh my God, is this really where I have to spend three whole days"? Forget about the drunks, prostitutes, and drug dealers for a moment....but there was really nothing to see. The streets were unremarkable, the architecture of the area was forgettable and boring, and there was literally nothing that warranted the small effort of sifting through my purse for my camera. Every few meters there was a drunk person staggering all over the place, or men smoking in front of unmarked steel doors that looked as though they led to the cavernous depths of hell itself. We were followed by a man in a car for at least three blocks. He slowly drove next to us as we continued walking, hollering in German out the window, beckoning us towards the car. Feeling dejected, but neither one of was wanting to verbalize the unfortunate circumstance we were in, we decided to head to he nearest pub and discuss a plan of action over a beer.

After some schnitzel, sausage, and German beer, we saw a tour bus across the street. The idea was that by the grace of God we would perhaps see a part of the city that wasn't crime-ridden and didn't have imminent danger lurking around every corner. Luckily, that's exactly what happened. About 2 miles down the road from where we were, it was like the heavens opened up and angels were singing! There were amazing cobblestone streets, bridge covered canals, artistically groomed trees, and stands advertising delicious German beer everywhere. An oasis had opened up! I immediately began cursing that wench at the hostel for sending us to the only ugly part of the city!

It turned out to be a gorgeous day and even better it had been confirmed that my good friend Dan was going to be able to join us for the weekend and would be there by the end of the night. Dan was in France on business and happened to have a car for the duration of his stay so the crazy fool decided to drive 7 hours from France to Hamburg, Germany. I waited in the hostel bar for him for four hours, the whole time chatting with a Brit named Charles. After over-indulging on the delectable locally brewed beverage I couldn't wait any longer and decided to hit the hay. I fell asleep quickly.

I woke up to the sound of rustling and giggling. Apparently, Dan had come in the room and thought I was the other American guy, Derek, that we were sharing the room with! Derek has long blond hair, and the last time Dan saw me, I was a blond. So when he got in the room he saw the mass of blond splayed over the pillow, got right down in his face, and began shaking him saying "Julie! Julie! Wake up!". Derek, having been in a dead sleep, woke up to this big man shaking him and yelling my name into his face. Shari woke before I did and said "Uh, Dan... that's not Julie!". He stepped back, a little confused and a little embarrassed... "Oh, sorry man"! Luckily Derek was quite a laid back dude and rolled over and shrugged it off easily.

We explored Hamburg on Saturday, did some shopping, ate great food, drank exceptional wine and tapped into the endless variety of German beers. Dan and I went to the Red Light District, called Reeperban at around 1am. The debauchery knew no bounds... drunk people staggering everywhere and a cataclysm of yelling, laughter, and coughing from all the various forms of smoke. The main strip had glass windows with displays of scantily clad women in sheer lingerie with fuzzy red handcuffs. Every side street was lined with bars and clubs. Music poured out into the streets through their open doors. There were hookers on each corner, baring cleavage and everything else. We knew they were prostitutes because they all had fanny packs on, which I am assuming is where they kept their money. I remember as we were walking by a group of them I heard a young American lad say "dude! it's only 30 bucks for a blow job!". I bet he ended up with quite a few stories that night!

As we were making our way back to the hostel, we realised the sun was coming up. It was 6:30 and I was beat. Sunday definitely called for a late check-out. Because Dan had a car, we decided to take a day trip to the nearby city of Bremin. It was my first time on the Autobahn and it wasn't incredibly exciting. But we did get to drive quite fast!

All in all, another good trip. And even better...I got my first paycheck last week and I'm on annual leave until Thursday! Might be doing a little more traveling this week!

I miss all of my US peeps and fam!